


Three is Company

by melanie1982



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Family, Love, M/M, becausebaby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:23:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanie1982/pseuds/melanie1982
Summary: Shawn and Cory.. and baby makes three!After the events of 'From the Ashes.' Little glimpses of life in the Hunter-Matthews household. Or is it the Matthews-Hunter household?Baby love. Sigh.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parents need to cut themselves some slack. 
> 
> Nobody is perfect.

Originally, Shawn had written a little note for baby Phoenix at the end of each week, wanting to compile them all into a book for her (you know, for when she was actually old enough to read).

Eventually, however, life got in the way. Saturday nights were like every other night for the new parents, filled with family and friends, catching up on housework, and (usually) crashing into bed before midnight. 

The notes fell by the wayside. Shawn felt guilty over it; it didn't take much to make Shawn feel guilty.

Cory suggested that once a month would be more practical, and, besides, how much could there possibly be to write about after a week? Surely there'd be more milestones after a month?

Shawn decided on a compromise. "I'll take notes as and when cute or crazy things happen, and I'll tie them all together into a monthly letter."

Cory beamed. "It'll be like a Matthews family Christmas newsletter, only, there'll be twelve of them a year!"

Shawn kissed his man on the nose. "Even though you said it like that, I'm still gonna do it."

Cory frowned a little. "Hey! Was that a dig at my family's cornball Christmas traditions?"

Shawn let out a happy sigh, imagining all the family Christmases to come - now with an even bigger family. "Now, Cory, would I do such a thing?"

Cory laughed. "Yeah, you would. I love you anyway, though."

Shawn still felt a rush every time Cory said those words. "I love you, too. And I can't wait to introduce Phoenix to your cheesy traditions - and come up with some of our own."

Cory thought of the customized ornaments he'd ordered. One was an angel-etched bauble in which a photo of Topanga would be suspended. The other was a clear plastic bauble which would hold a photo of himself, Shawn and Phoenix. He had considered having a pro photo-shop a photo of Phoenix and Topanga into one picture, but decided it would be upsetting and confusing to the girl as she got older. Topanga was there in spirit, and that would have to be enough.

As if reading his lover's mind, Shawn spoke softly. "Did Panga have any weird, hippie-dippy Christmas traditions?"

Cory's eyes misted over for a second. "Yeah. Would that be awkward?"

Shawn looked at the bassinet where Phoenix was currently taking a power nap between feedings. "Not awkward. Panga's her mom. That bond never breaks, Cory."

Cory thought, for the zillionth time, that there was no one he'd rather be raising a baby with than Shawn Hunter.


	2. Hangry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoenix is a remarkable child.
> 
> The boys just have to try to keep up!

Boy, did the kid like to eat!

In fact, so much so that at her three-month check-up, the nervous dads asked the doc if they were doing something wrong.

Dr. Patterson was an old hand at parenting, having raised six kids of his own. He rested a hand on each man's shoulder.

"No, you're not doing anything wrong. Her feeding schedule is fine, and she's gaining weight beautifully. It may be time to consider introducing some baby cereals, though, to see if it keeps her fuller for longer."

Shawn looked worried. "Isn't she a little young for solids?" 

Cory shot him a surprised look.

"I've been reading up on this stuff," Shawn said, blushing.

"Well, if it's introduced little by little, mixed in with her formula, we'll know fairly quickly whether or not she's tolerating it. If she doesn't take to it, go back to plain formula."

Cory shrugged. "You're the doc, Doc." They settled the bill and headed to the store.

They chose a box of rice cereal (after Cory had compared the labels of six different brands to ensure Phoenix was getting the maximum amount of nutrition and the minimum amount of junk), and headed home, anxious to try out the new food.

Phoenix fussed at the first swallow, but then a light-bulb seemed to go on inside her head, and she began to chow down with gusto.

"Wow, she LOVES it!," Cory enthused.

Shawn prepared another bottle for later - which ended up being a few *minutes* later.

After finishing most of the second bottle, Phoenix let out the most contented sigh of her life - and began to drift off to sleep!

"No effing way," Shawn breathed. "Don't tell me all these weeks we've been feeding her 'round the clock, and all she needed was some rice goop in a bottle and she'd go right to sleep?"

Cory had to see the funny side. "C'mon, Shawn. She's a baby. Don't make it sound like she's manipulative or something. Babies can't plot or scheme." Pause. "Can they?"

Shawn smiled. "Not that I've read, no. Then again, I haven't finished the stack of books I got from the library."

Cory pulled Shawn close. "You're really taking this seriously, aren't you?"

Shawn thought for a moment. "I guess I am. I mean, it's one thing to screw up my own life, but I don't want to screw hers up."

"You're not a screw-up. We're both learning this, day by day. It'll get easier."

Another lesson learned: Phoenix was a lot more fun to be around (and the guys got a lot more sleep!) when she wasn't hangry.


	3. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As in, things don't always go according to.

Shawn wanted them to get married; he just wanted to wait until Phoenix was old enough to have some concept of what was happening. Dreams of her in a sweet little flower girl outfit made him go all mushy inside. He could picture her, toddling down the aisle, chucking fistfuls of petals everywhere, feeling like it was all for her.

Cory, however, was about to disrupt that plan. 

Cory saw the logic in waiting. He did. But he'd spent his whole life wandering from one half-baked idea to the next, and this was the first thing he'd ever been sure about. Instead of the million doubts and questions usually running on a constant loop through his mind, when Cory thought about being married to Shawn, there was blessed calm. Silence. Peace.

Shawn was the only thing that could make Cory be still and experience the moment.

That didn't mean he wouldn't make it special, though. It just had to be ninja, so Shawn would be blindsided into saying 'I do.'

If there were other, more colorful words later, so be it. They'd be married.

Shawn and Cory took turns spending the day with Phoenix four days of the week while the other caught up on chores, errands, and sleep. They had a schedule, and Cory was a huge fan of schedules - so it threw Shawn for a loop when Cory suggested switching the days.

"You get called into work or somethin'?"

Cory was a terrible liar. He hated being dishonest, especially to Shawnie, but it was for the greater good. "Yeah. I'm sorry. Are you okay with that? I mean, are you on a deadline?"

Shawn smiled. "Cory, part of the beauty of being freelance is not having deadlines."

Cory nodded. "Oh yeah. Right. Well, I'll see you two later. Love you."

Shawn was puzzled, and that puzzlement slowly shifted into concern as the day wore on. Phoenix was in good spirits, seemingly unperturbed at the disruption in routine, but Shawn kept wondering why Cory had been so abrupt with him.

Was he just being insecure? I mean, since bringing Phoenix home, there'd been less time for intimacy, but there was always affection. Was it possible that..?

Shawn couldn't let it go. Feeding the ducks at the park didn't put him into his usual contemplative headspace; neither did running Phoenix' stroller through the in-ground fountains and hearing her squeal in surprised delight. By the time lunch rolled around, he'd formulated a plan:

Shawn was going to stop by the office and kidn - uh, invite, Cory for a picnic.

A quick stop at the store took care of everything: the deli counter whipped up some sandwiches, Shawn picked out a bottle of sparkling fruit juice (no drinking during the day!), added a pre-packaged fruit salad, and, to Phoenix' joy, grabbed some goodies from the bakery. Phoenix was busily gnawing on a chunk of super-stale biscotti by the time Shawn parked in the 'friends and family' zone at the office.

The two brown paper bags made a good picnic basket and trash receptacle, respectively. An emergency blanket from the car - part of their extensive emergency kit compiled by Cory, which Shawn felt sure would cover anything but a zombie apocalypse - would do for their picnic. Folding it into the spare bag, Shawn set everything aside long enough to load Phoenix into her front-facing baby carrier. Shawn was endlessly amused at how gaga women went over a man 'wearing' a baby. His now-empty hands retrieved the bags, and they waited to be buzzed in to the building.

As Shawn approached the front desk, the receptionist smiled at him, batting her doe eyes at the sight of the adorable man accessorized by a winsome baby. So far, so good. Cory's department was on the third floor; Shawn did a quick mental calculation, making sure it was close to Cory's lunch time. I hope he didn't have a meeting that ran late or anything, Shawn thought belatedly. 

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. This place had a good male-female ratio, and Shawn got approving nods and knowing smiles from multiple men and women. Shawn was feeling better already.

At the department's main desk, however, things screeched to a halt.

"Hi. I'm here to surprise Cory Matthews with a picnic lunch. Is he available?" Shawn used his best manners, flinching imperceptibly as he prayed the receptionist wasn't a homophobe.

The woman, whose desk plaque said was named Sheila, wrinkled her face in confusion. "I don't think Mr. Matthews was scheduled today."

Shawn's blood turned to ice. "He's usually off today, but he told me this morning he'd been called in to work. Would you mind..?"

Sheila humored him, picking up the phone and buzzing, first Cory's office, then the adjoining offices, and finally the conference room. His office phone rang unanswered, and the others brought replies confirming that Cory was definitely not at work.

"Is there a chance he had an off-site meeting, maybe ..?"

Sheila's face turned pitying. "I'm sorry. It seems nobody's seen or heard from him today."

Shawn felt his knees threatening to buckle, but Phoenix' safety gave him the resolve to stay standing. "Oh. Well, thanks for your time, Miss.. Sheila."

He didn't remember the trip back to the lobby in the elevator.

If Cory wasn't at work..

Where was he?

How many times had this happened?

What was going ON?


	4. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsure of where else to look, Shawn goes home.
> 
> If nothing else, he can wait there..

Once Phoenix was safely strapped in, Shawn tried Cory's phone three times, the car still in park. On the third try, Shawn left a message.

"Babe, it's me. Please just.. Where are you? Just let me know you're okay; anything else, I can deal with. I love you."

Shawn thought for a moment. Was it true? Could he deal with 'anything else,' like Cory cheating on him? He took a few deep breaths in, holding each one before letting it out. Shawn needed a clear head and good response times while driving with a baby in the car; he couldn't afford to be reckless.

He could. He could deal with Cory cheating, as long as Cory was safe. A series of other dark possibilities ran through Shawn's head, and he accepted each one, always with the caveat that Cory had to be okay. HAD to.

The drive home was agonizing, but Shawn docked them safely into the driveway, settling Phoenix into her carrier again (Shawn had read that using a baby's car seat as a carrier was bad for their posture), then grabbing the bag containing the food.

As the front door opened, Shawn's heart was hammering inside his chest. What if Cory had brought someone to their home? Their BED?

"Cory? We're home." Shawn injected a buoyancy into his tone which belied his true emotional state. Phoenix nestled against his chest, warm, solid, and totally dependent on her dads, kept him focused.

No response.

Shawn made his way to the kitchen, putting away the luncheon before doing a room-by-room check of the house.

Nothing. No sign that Cory or anyone else had been here.

Shawn's phone rang, startling him. Phoenix cooed, apparently finding the ringtone amusing. The man answered, taut with fear. "Cory?"

"Would you meet me in the backyard, please? I'll explain when you get here." Cory sounded pleasant, but.. cryptic. Shawn felt his gut roiling as he walked the few yard from the living room, through the kitchen again, past the tiny laundry room and to the back door, which opened out onto a narrow, fenced-in yard.

As he turned the handle and drew back the wood, Shawn saw everyone who mattered to him gathered at the far end of the yard. Amy and Allan were there; Eric and Jack, standing suspiciously close to one another; Mr. Feenie, dressed in a tuxedo which was decidedly not his style, and which managed to make him look almost unrecognizable; and - 

Wait. A tuxedo? Didn't people usually wear those to - 

Oh. OHHH. 

Cory was a dead man.


	5. Two Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After three big words, how hard can it be to say two little ones?
> 
> Hmmm
> 
> Note: We never learn Cory's middle name in BMW, nor in GMW. I considered inventing one, but decided to leave it as is.

Shawn felt he'd stepped into a dream. Sure, there had been some real doozies over the years - I mean, Shawn had to be the only kid in their school who had ENJOYED those 'I'm at school naked and everyone else is naked, too' dreams (for obvious reasons) - but a backyard wedding? Never in his wildest fantasies had this cropped up. His mind was choking on it.

"Did we win Publishers Clearing House?," Shawn managed to croak out, looking around for a giant cardboard check and the ghost of Ed MacMahon. 

"No, silly. Although with the balloons, yeah, I could see where you'd get that idea." Cory gestured to the balloons arranged in an arc of color. Shawn recognized this pattern: red, orange, yellow.. Ah. A rainbow theme. Fitting.

Everyone was smiling at Shawn, some of them dabbing at tears. He felt so exposed, so on display. "Cory?"

Cory took his cue. It wasn't the first time he'd had to help his Shawnsie process reality, and it wouldn't be the last. "I know you wanted to wait 'til our princess was a little older," Cory said, chucking Phoenix under the chin, "but I think this day has been a long time coming. And we all know, unfortunately, that sometimes the best things in life don't go to plan."

Amy leaned her head on Allan's shoulder, who, in turn, gave her a reassuring sideways squeeze as they all thought of Topanga.

Cory plowed through the pang of pain. "I want to seize the moment, because none of us knows what the future holds. I want to dress up and exchange rings and shove cake in each other's faces, and I want it all on tape as proof - to me, to you, to Phoenix, and to the world - of the fact that you and I became one."

Shawn felt Mr. Feenie rest a steadying hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, Mr. Hunter."

"What's alright?," he asked, voice barely audible.

"It's alright to trust Mr. Matthews - and to allow yourself to be happy."

Shawn shook his head slowly. "I've been happy. These past few months.. they've been insane, and exhausting, and terrifyingly wonderful. I wouldn't trade them for anything." He looked earnestly into the eyes of each person present. "Not for anything."

Then, Shawn developed tunnel vision, seeing only Cory as he moved forward. "I never thought I'd have a family of my own - parents, siblings - and I never thought I'd be a dad. Here, I've found it all in one swoop, in one person." He paused. "I've found a home. I used to want to see the world, and I still do - but I also know that adventures happen every day, right here. I don't have to go any further than my own back yard."

Eric opened his mouth to make a 'Wizard of Oz' reference, but Jack stepped on his foot, on step ahead of Eric's brain, and shot him a look that said "There will be NO 'special treat' for a week if you fudge this up."

Cory was holding Shawn's hands in his own now, Mr. Feenie having stepped away. Shawn noticed Angela was playing videographer, and it warmed his heart to know she was happy for him. She was a true friend. 

Getting down on one knee, Cory beamed up at his love. "Shawn Hunter.. You said yes before, in a someday-we-will kind of a way. Well, I'm asking you again, in front of everyone we love: Will you marry me? Right now?" After a moment's thought, he added, "Please?" 

Shawn nodded, then realized he should speak aloud, to make it seem real. "Yes. I will marry you. Right now."

The small crowd was a good mix of those who'd dressed up to the nines, and those who'd kept it smart but casual. Shawn considered asking to go inside and change, but he didn't want to ruin the momentum of this wonderful, unexpected thing.

He'd arrived home fearing it was the beginning of the end, only to find it was the beginning of everything.

Amy offered to hold the baby, and Shawn unstrapped the child so he could pass her, and the carrier, to Grandma. Eric stood in for Cory, fighting back tears of brotherly pride, while Jack stood up for Shawn. The betrothed exchanged a glance which said, "Those two are SO next!," then grinned at their inside joke.

Mr. Feenie had dressed up for good reason: he was to officiate. That was another wonderful surprise element: the only adult other than Amy and Allan who had watched over their relationship from its earliest days was now sealing that relationship for them in front of witnesses.

"Cory A. Matthews, do you take Shawn Patrick Hunter to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and, forsaking all others, to give yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live?" Shawn idly mused on the fact that he was marrying someone and STILL didn't know the guy's middle name. The thought evaporated quickly, though. 

Cory's face hurt from smiling so wide. "I do."

Whew! They were halfway there!

"Shawn Patrick Hunter, do you take Cory A. Matthews to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, and, forsaking all others, to give yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live?"

Everyone held their breath. Even Phoenix was still, as though she, too, was nervous.

"I do. Definitely."

"Do you have the rings?," Mr. Feenie asked, and Eric immediately began to descend into a silent panic, patting himself down, turning out his pockets - 

"Right here, Mr. Feenie," Jack said, giving his love a look which said 'Do you really think they'd trust YOU with the rings?'

The bands were simple, unadorned gold, but Shawn had a feeling Cory had done that deliberately, so that they could be embellished later in whatever way Shawn chose. The bands slid into place, each man mirroring the other. 

Mr. Feenie's heart had never been so full. "Then by the power vested in me by the state of Philadelphia, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss one another."

It was a chaste kiss, all things considered, but they WERE in front of everyone, and there was always later..

Cory turned apologetic. "I was thinking we could do a vow renewal once she's old enough to take part. As long as she gets to dress up and have everyone fuss over her, I don't think she'll know the difference."

Shawn squeezed his husband's hand, feeling the cool band on his ring finger warming to his skin. "You know me so well, Cory. You.. You knew I'd be freaking out, and you took all the guesswork out of it for me. All I had to do was show up."

"So you're not upset with me? I kind of pressured you, having everyone here.."

"It was perfect." The couple were about to lean in for a 'real' kiss, but it was time for posed photographs and congratulations and toasts and CAKE.

Phoenix particularly enjoyed that last part.

By the time everyone had been shooed through the house and out the front door a few hours later, the newlyweds were worn out.

"I should've planned for dinner," Cory joked; "I'm too tired to cook. Pizza, or Chinese?"

Shawn smiled. "Neither. We can have the stuff I put together for a surprise picnic lunch," he said.

Cory grimaced. "Is that what you did today? I'm sorry."

Shawn kissed his nose. "It's okay, Cory. I think YOUR romantic surprise beat mine by a long shot."

They ate sandwiches and fruit and cookies in bed, and it was a delicious, glorious mess - just like them.


	6. Cameo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ones we love are never far away.
> 
> They live on in our hearts and memories.

The wedding video was finished within days; Angela apparently had a real knack for AV stuff. The couple had settled in to watch their story, a sleepy Phoenix propped up on Cory's lap.

"Wow. She must not be the romantic type, Cor. She's dozing off."

Cory smiled. "Well, it's probably awkward watching your parents be mushy, Shawn."

Shawn shuddered. "Yeah. Like the time you walked in on Amy and - "

Cory winced. "We agreed never to discuss that." He said it in humor, though.

"Okay, okay." Shawn went back to watching the screen. "Hey. Check it out."

Cory squinted to see. "That blobby thingy? Huh. I wonder what that was."

It shimmered, almost transparent, flickering in and out of the shot as the men said their vows. 

"Maybe there was a flaw in the film," Cory began, but Shawn dismissed it.

"No, Cor. It's not in every shot; if the film was bad, it would be more uniform. There's not even anything reflective there to.."

Shawn felt his scalp prickle, but said nothing more.

The rest of the video showed no such anomalies, and Shawn placed the cassette carefully in its protective sleeve before heading for bed with something nagging at him in the back of his mind.

\---------------------------------------------

A few days later, the still photographs were ready.

"Wow, look at this messy little face! Cake up to the eyeballs, some behind the ears, in the hair -, " Cory laughed.

"Yep. Your brother Eric sure is a good eater. He's gonna grow up big and strong, just like you," Shawn teased.

There were several great shots of the guests laughing and having a good time, and those photos were normal.

The photos with Phoenix or the grooms, however..

"Look. What's that light behind your mom?"

Cory frowned. "I don't know. It was daytime; we didn't need any lights." Then, "It looks like it's almost touching Phoenix."

It was true. The light only appeared near Amy when she had Phoenix with her.

"It's there again, when we said 'I do.'"

Cory was looking decidedly freaked out.

"Cory, it was an amazing day. I'm sure it was just a trick of the light, you know? Those disposable cameras do some weird stuff. Remember the time you thought you were a vampire or a werewolf or something because your birthday party pictures made you look like you had red eyes?"

Cory nodded, still uneasy. "I guess so."

Shawn, however, felt the hollowness of his own reassurances.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas had come at last. This was the first one for Phoenix, so Shawn had to keep Cory from going overboard.

They were going to have a quiet Christmas Eve at home, then head over to the Matthews' for Christmas morning. 

"If you'd bought even one more gift, Cory, we wouldn't be able to see out the back window," Shawn gently admonished, finishing loading the car for the trip.

"I just want her to have everything, Shawn. I can't explain it."

Shawn pulled his husband close. "I get it, sweetie. Just remember that we love her, and she has so many people to spoil her rotten with love. We can't make up for Panga being gone by buying her stuff."

Cory was teary-eyed. "I know. Just.. I can't imagine if I'd had to grow up without my mom. If they'd split, okay, but to lose your mom.. I couldn't.."

Shawn soothed him. "I can't say I can relate. You know my family history. But I know that our baby has two great dads, crazy uncles and grandparents and Feenie and Angela and.. She'll be okay."

Cory tried to feel better. He really did. It was Christmas Eve, a time of miracles and joy.

He did his best to ignore the ache hidden deep inside his heart.

\------------------------------------------------------------

The 'one gift early' tradition had been transplanted from one Matthews home to the next. Phoenix had gotten an adorable candy-cane striped sleeper suit (and had thoroughly enjoyed.. the wrapping paper). Shawn had received a solar charger for his laptop (he was forever forgetting to charge the thing, only to have it die mid-assignment). Cory's gift had been a new sweater for what he referred to as his 'daddy' collection - clothes appropriate for a hip yet level-headed father like himself.

"There's one more package I need to give you before we go to sleep," said Cory.

Shawn sighed. "I'm pretty tired, Cory. Rain-check?"

Cory swatted his husband on the thigh. "Stop that! Not 'that'. I mean something I got for .. well, I guess for all of us."

Shawn was intrigued. 

Cory returned with a small box, and they opened it together.

"Cory, these are beautiful."

The Topanga bauble showcased her in one of her favorite photos of herself, young, healthy, and full of life. The 'family' photo of Cory, Shawn and Phoenix graced the second bauble. Shawn read the script on the back.

"'The Hunter-Matthews Family.' Cory.. We hadn't discussed that. Not in a conclusive sort of way."

Cory shrugged. "I thought it had a nice ring to it. We could always change it later."

Shawn took a second look at Topanga's ornament. "'Forever in our hearts. A mother's love never dies.'" 

Cory crumpled then, and Shawn carefully set the ornaments aside and drew Cory into his embrace.

"Are you mad?"

"What for?"

"For me crying over her. I don't want her back, Shawn; I just wish she wasn't.."

Shawn soothed him. "Holidays are tough when you're missing somebody. I understand. You wanted her to be here for this."

Cory was still crying.

"She'd be proud of you, Cor, the way you've handled it all so far. Maybe even proud of me."

"I hope so."

Shawn moved to rise, and Cory followed. "Let's put them on the tree and call it a night, hmm?"

Cory nodded. They each chose a sturdy branch, suspending the photo ornaments before Shawn turned on the tree lights as Cory shut off the overhead light.

"Beautiful." They admired the tree for a few moments in silence, then padded up the stairs.

Once in bed, Shawn made love to Cory slowly, infusing every kiss and caress with the silent message: 'It's alright. It's alright.'

When his husband really needed comforting, Shawn found he wasn't too tired, after all.


	7. Angels Watch Over Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with extended fam.
> 
> Yay!

Breakfast smelled amazing. Shawn could already imagine the first bite of Amy's special cinnamon-roll confection; he couldn't figure out how she got it to be so moist and decadent, but he thanked the baby Jesus she did.

Phoenix had pride of place in her new boppy seat, and her excitement was contagious.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear she knew most of those presents are for her," Cory quipped.

"She is YOUR kid, Cor. She might," Eric jibed back.

The morning was so full of wrapping-paper flurries and squeals of "Oh, wow! THANKS!," it was almost possible to forget Topanga. As the family gathered around the table, however, Morgan piped up.

"Can we say a special grace for Christmas breakfast?"

The Matthews weren't overly religious, but it seemed harmless enough. Who would ever discourage a kid from being thankful?

"Sure, sweetheart," Amy said, a little taken aback.

Morgan took that permission and ran with it. Her list of thanks encompassed the breakfast, the gifts, the people present, the weather, fluffy kitties and rainbows, and Allan had just been about to gently urge her to wrap it up when she spouted - 

"And please bless Topanga who's in heaven.."

Cory had jumped back from the table, racing out to the yard with Shawn hot on his heels.

While the 'rents gave Morgan a crash-course in tact and sensitivity, the husbands had a moment.

"Cory, she's a kid. She doesn't know better."

"Shawn.. Someday Phoenix is going to have questions. I have to be able to listen to her, to answer, without freaking out."

"And you will. WE will. I knew her, too, Cory, not in the same way, but - I cared for her. I know she cared for me. I have stories about her, memories to share. You won't be alone."

"It's not just that." Cory was on the verge of something. "It's.. What if something happens to you? How can I do this alone?"

Shawn kissed his spouse. "You will never be alone. Do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere."

"Nobody knows for sure. Every breath is a 'maybe.'"

Shawn conceded to that truth. "As far as I am able, I will be here for you."

"What if something happens to me, Shawn? She can't - "

"Hey, hey. Listen to me. I'm not her bio dad, but I AM her dad. You think I'd bail on her just because my hot hubby was gone and couldn't make sweet love to me anymore?"

Cory cracked a slight smile. "No. I know you wouldn't. You might end up moving in with Angela or my parents or even Feenie, but you wouldn't leave her."

Shawn relaxed a little. "Exactly. We've made a commitment to her, and to each other."

Cory grew thoughtful. "What do you think happens when we die, Shawn?"

He blinked. "Well, I'm not sure. I do think people can kind of.. check in on the ones they love."

Cory was surprised. "Really? You think?"

Shawn wasn't sure where his newfound conviction was coming from, but he confirmed it. "Yeah. I don't think we ever really leave. Topanga's a part of Phoenix, and she's in our memories. Those live on."

Amy poked her head out. "Your food's getting cold, guys."

Taking Shawn's hand, Cory headed back inside to join his family. Morgan apologized, Cory accepted, and things settled down. 

For a little while, anyway.


	8. A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words, or, Dead But Not Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think about it...

Eric sometimes joked that he should buy stock in disposable cameras, the way Shawn and Cory got through them.

"How many pictures do you need of one kid?," he'd ribbed, but there was nothing behind it. Eric was just as smitten with her as everyone else was.

The first-Christmas photos were ready to be picked up, and the couple decided to wait until Phoenix was asleep to look through them, in case Cory got emotional.

Curled up on the couch, Shawn opened the envelope. "You okay?"

Cory was still on a roller-coaster of emotions, but nodded. "Yeah."

Everyone looked so happy. The 'rents looked younger than their years, glowing with love for their kids and grandkid. The couple laughed at how many times Jack photo-bombed Eric or vice versa, noting that they always avoided the carefully-hung mistletoe.. Cory noticed something else, however, at the same time Shawn did.

"That blobby thing is back. Look. Always by Phoenix's head."

Shawn knew it was time.

"Cory.. You remember asking me about what happens when we die?"

"Yeah."

"Well.. Some people believe that 'checking in on loved ones' means actually.. showing up."

Cory froze. "Like GHOSTS?"

Shawn bit his lip. "Not to scare people or hurt anyone. It's not 'haunting.' It's.. Like, we check on Phoenix while she sleeps. We don't mess with anything, we just see that she's okay, and then we slip out of her room."

Cory was skeptical. "So you think this light is.. " It hit him.

"It's okay. Cory. It is. Come on, man. It makes too much sense - Topanga just wants to check on her baby girl, watch her for a minute. It doesn't hurt anyone."

"So why can't we see her or feel her when she's here? I mean, wouldn't I know if she was that close?"

Shawn shrugged. "I don't know how it all works. Sometimes grief can block picking up on spirits; you're definitely still grieving.."

Cory had to admit it was so.

"So Phoenix doesn't block her, because she doesn't know enough to be sad."

Shawn nodded. "It could be that. It could also be that she's used to her mom being around, so it doesn't seem weird to her."

Cory had a flash of panic. "We should check on her."

"Cory, we have the monitor turned up full volume. She's fine."

Cory was already on the landing, and Shawn followed with a soft sigh.

He caught up to his husband at the top of the stairs. "Shh," he reminded Cory.

They eased open the door, which slid on silent hinges.

Shawn's hand flew to his mouth.

It was faint, but undeniable: there was a ball of white hovering above a sleeping Phoenix. Cory's feet felt rooted to the spot.

Shawn watched as the light faded, and only then did he begin to breathe again.

Pulling his husband toward their door, he spoke in a low, soothing tone.

"Don't freak out."

"I.. There is a white blob following our child, Shawn. How can I NOT - "

Shawn kissed him, knowing it was the quickest way to avert a melt-down.

"I know. But she's fine. You saw her. She's always fine."

Cory slid down the wall, landing on his butt. "I can't.. This is.."

"It's okay. Remember the wedding photos? Topanga was there, too. She was.. I think she was giving us her blessing."

Cory remembered. "It's not just Phoenix she's attached to. It's.. you and me."

Shawn felt the tension unwinding. "So stop worrying. Just let it be. If you.. If you ever feel upset or scared or you just miss her, talk to her in your head, or even out loud. She'll hear you."

Cory studied Shawn's face intently. "You really believe this, huh?"

"I've done a lot of soul-searching and a lot of reading. Yeah. I do. I've actually taken notes on our 'incidents,' and I was thinking.."

"..of doing a book?"

Shawn blushed. "Maybe. I think it'd sell. People eat this stuff up, Cory."

Cory considered it. "You know I'll support you, whatever you do." Then, "You thought of a title?"

Shawn blushed again. "'Dead But Not Gone.'"

"Hmm. It's .. catchy. Slightly morbid, but, grabs the attention. I like."

Shawn was surprised. "Really?"

He pulled Shawn closer to him, Shawn joining him on the floor. "Life's so crazy, Shawn, so full of surprises. Who's to say the afterlife isn't just as unpredictable? I'll.. I'll try to keep an open mind."

Shawn kissed him again. "And I'll try to keep you from freaking out and calling Ghostbusters."

"Deal."

And it was.


End file.
